My Journal About My Life and Stephen and Miranda
by Kelly Chambliss
Summary: Adela is a young Muggle who wants to be a writer. When a mysterious couple named Stephen and Miranda moves in next door to her, she decides to keep a journal about them. "Bewitched" meets "Harriet the Spy." Post-DH.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N**: This story was written on the occasion of Severus Snape's fiftieth birthday -- January 9, 2010. It's a little happier than my usual angsty fare, but as I say, it was for the man's birthday. I gave him the day off from suffering. Well, mostly. And many thanks to my generous beta The Real Snape, without whom everything I wrote would be much worse.

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"My Journal About My Life and Stephen and Miranda" by Adela

by Kelly Chambliss

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**June 26, 2000**

_The young girl with the bright blue eyes wrapped thin, trembling fingers around the cover of an elegent journal with perky Hello Kitty pictures on it. She stared in sadness at the tragic pale man with the crooked nose who stood on his porch and pulled his long hair that was black and a little bit stringy, and he shouted, "Miranda! Come back to me!" _

_But she was gone, long gone, his beautiful black-haired bride that he loved so much even though she was alot older. "Do not fear," said the blue-eyed girl. She held up her journal and a pen. "I will tell the world the story of you and your beautiful bride that you lost."_

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That's the beginning of the novel I wrote last August. I can't believe how bad it was and how much I didn't know what I was doing. But I was only eleven then, and I really didn't know any better.

I hadn't started working with Dr. Reese then, for one thing. She's a writing professor who lives down the street, and she pointed out the problems with my novel. She's really good at that -- she doesn't just show you the easy errors, like spelling "elegant" wrong; she says not to worry about that sort of thing because you have Spell Check. She tells you about the stuff that's hard to fix. That's what makes you a better writer.

My novel was about Stephen and Miranda. They live in the house next door to me. They are from England, well actually, Miranda is from Scotland, that is not the same thing as England. Their names are Miranda Robinson and Stephen Smith and they moved here last summer when I was still eleven.

They are very interesting and mysterious. I used to think there was some great tragedy about them, because my pop said they were like what Cathy and Heathcliff would have been if they had lived longer. (Cathy and Heathcliff are in an old movie called _Wuthering Heights_, it is about tragic love. Have you ever seen it? It is a book, too.)

Miranda and Stephen don't look like the people in the movie except that they all have black hair and are pale and tall and thin. Stephen is younger than Miranda, and they wear odd clothes, kind of like olden days, and they have very interesting accents. They hardly ever say anything about their past lives, which is alot of what makes them so mysterious.

It was something I saw right after they moved in that made me think they were tragic.

They were in their backyard one night, and Stephen was pacing back and forth and his hair was flying all over the place and Miranda was pale as death. You could just tell how upset they were. I was looking at them out my bedroom window and you can usually hear things pretty well up there, but that time, Mr. Hilliard across the street was cutting his grass, and his stupid ancient lawn mower was so loud I couldn't hear a word they said. They didn't actually talk much though, because pretty soon I saw Stephen storm out the back gate, and Miranda sat down on the steps and put her hands over her face.

So I thought they were star-crossed and sad, and I wrote a novel about them that ended in heartbreak. I cried while I wrote it, it was so sad.

The real Stephen and Miranda have not ended in heartbreak. I have never seen them fight again, in fact, they seem to get along really well, and they do alot of just ordinary things. Stephen has a garden, and Miranda writes stuff. Not stories like me, though. She says it is "theoretical" stuff.

So they are not star-crossed lovers. They may not be lovers at all, because I don't know if they are married or in love with each other. But I think they are.

I let Dr. Reese read my novel, and she said it was "ambitious" and had promise, but she hoped I wouldn't be hurt if she told me it was "overwrought." That means too extreme and emotional. She said don't feel bad, if she didn't think I could be a good writer, she would not spend so much time helping me. But she does think I can be good, so she has told me no end of useful hints.

Like she talks about diction (that means the words you choose). "Look at your opening paragraph," she said. "Do you see how you have several adjectives in a row? It sounds monotonous." (She says to put in dialogue to make your narrative more of a story.)

I can't believe I didn't notice that, about being monotonous. I just thought you were supposed to put in a lot of details, because that's what Ms. Dumond used to say. She was our Language Arts teacher last year. She was always like, "more details," but she never said what kind of details.

Dr. Reese just roles her eyes whenever I tell her what Ms. Dumond used to say. "Let us put aside the well-meaning but dim counsel of the redoubtable Ms. D, shall we?" she says. That's one of the things I like about Dr. Reese -- she talks like people in books. She does it on purpose, because it's fun and it makes you aware of language.

Another thing on Dr. Reese's "beware list" is what she calls "the tyranny of the iris," which means that some writers get silly about telling you what color people's eyes are. Like I did in my novel last year, about my blue eyes. (I'm the young girl in the opening paragraph, in case you didn't know.) I couldn't think of any other way to tell what I looked like, but I know better now.

"There's description and then there's description," that's Dr. Reese's way of saying some kinds of description help "advance the story and characters" and other kinds don't. One of the kinds that doesn't is to tell about how "dark black eyes looked deep into smoky gray ones." (That's a line I wrote in my novel about Stephen and Miranda, when I was having them be star-crossed and tragically in love.) I have really learned a lot from Dr. Reese. I don't do that silly iris thing any more.

Dr. Reese is the reason I am writing this new journal (which does not have Hello Kitty on it, I think that's too babyish now, this journal just has a plain black cover, like a serious writer). She suggested that instead of writing an actual novel right now, I just act as a "recorder of life" and describe the life and things and people I see around me. If you are a good observer and recorder, stories will grow out of the description.

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**July 1, 2000**

So today I am going to start describing the people and things around me. As I have said, the people I want to observe most are Stephen and Miranda, because even if they are not tragic, they are still the most unusual, but I should probably start with me.

My name is Adela Edwards. I was born on September 29, 1987. I will be 13 in three months and I just finished the seventh grade at Mount Jefferson Middle School. In the fall I will be in the 8th grade and then I will have to go to high school. I have big feet (sad), and double-jointed thumbs. I like to write and I plan to be a writer, but when I'm not writing I like to read and do other things.

Lately, I have been spending time observing life so that I can record it. This gets me out into the neighborhood more, which Pop says is a good idea, but Dad says don't bother Stephen and Miranda too much. (Since their life is the one I like to observe most, I go over to their house alot. They don't seem to mind. Well, Miranda doesn't. Usually. A lot of times Stephen acts like he minds, but I'm not sure he really does.)

My best friend is Rosa Velez. She likes to read, too. She is Puerto Rican, she likes fantasy books, and she has three brothers. She is the oldest. She wants to be a reporter for a Spanish language newspaper (if they still have newspapers when we grow up because my pop doesn't know if they will.)

Then I have two dads. My first dad is James V. Edwards, he adopted me when I was just a baby. Dad is an engineering professor at the university. (Dr. Reese works there too, she's a writing teacher. Alot of faculty live in our neighborhood.)

My other dad I call Pop. He and Dad have been partners since I was 2, so I don't really remember a time without him. They met at the university, Pop is in the Media Studies department. Pop's name is Timothy Jevic (that's pronounced like "Yevich." He doesn't like to get his name said wrong.)

Dad and Pop get teased sometimes because their names are Jim and Tim, but otherwise they are lucky because the people they work with don't bother them about being gay. It doesn't bother me either, but I did have a fight with Jason Gribble in the fourth grade because he said my dads were faggots. Pop says they _are_ faggots, so what, and don't worry about it.

The houses around here are old, but Dad says they have character. He'll tell you all about the woodwork and architecture in our house if you get him started. We have a front porch and a backyard that is kind of overgrown. Pop always says he's going to start a vegetable garden back there, but he never does. On one side of us is another street, and on the other side is Stephen and Miranda's house. It is separated from us by a wooden fence you can see through because there are some spaces between the boards.

I look through the boards alot to see if Stephen or Miranda are out in their yard because when I observe the life around me, they are totally the most interesting things to observe.

Pop went over there on the day they moved in just to welcome them to the neighborhood and say let us know if we could help with anything. They didn't have that much to move in, really, because most of the furniture came with the house.

They have a ton of books, though. Their whole living room is books. I don't know when they moved those in, because I didn't see them on the actual moving day. They didn't have a moving van or anything. They came in a taxi and just had some suitcases. Maybe they had the books shipped.

Their house used to belong to old Mrs. Prince, a widow lady. Pop said she was a hundred if she was a day. Mr. Prince had been dead a long time, he was from England too, and when he died, Mrs. Prince came home here to the United States. She didn't have any children or relatives, so we used to watch out for her, get her groceries, things like that.

When she died, a lawyer came around and Pop went over to talk to him and the lawyer said that the house had been left to Mrs. P's husband's great nephew in England. So she did have a relative, only she never mentioned him. It is Stephen, and I still don't know why he and Miranda moved here. I asked, but Stephen just said, "Because despite all evidence to the contrary, Fate has apparently decided that I have not yet been subjected to enough eleven-year-old idiocy."

He talks like people in books, too, but I don't think he does it because of the pleasures of language. Maybe he does it because he's British. He's rude like that sometimes, but he doesn't mean it. I don't think he does, anyway. Pop says his bark is worse than his bite, but Dad says he doesn't think Stephen has even come close to biting yet and that we should just watch out.

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**July 5, 2000**

Yesterday was July 4th and we went to Broadhurst Park for a picnic and to watch the fireworks. We went with Rosa's family, and everybody brought food, which I love because Rosa's mom makes Puerto Rican food to remind us that lots of different kinds of people are Americans. She says we need some brown in the red, white, and blue.

We asked Stephen and Miranda to come, even though they probably don't care about July 4th because they are from the UK. (That was a joke Pop told me once -- Do they have the Fourth of July in England? And when you say no, because the Fourth of July is American Independence Day, he says of course they have the Fourth of July, do you think they just go from July 3rd to July 5th? The joke is that they don't think of July 4th as a holiday.)

Well, we asked S & M, but they couldn't make it. (That's what Pop calls them, S & M. It's some kind of joke, because Dad always roles his eyes when Pop says it, and Pop grins. I'm sure it has to do with sex, which is why they won't tell me what it means. I hate that, I am not a little kid any more. They usually explain to me about sex stuff, so I don't know what is the big problem with this particular thing.)

Anyway, it was too bad S & M couldn't come, because I was hoping to learn more about them. They are both so. . .I don't know how to say it. There is something really mysterious about them. It sounds silly, but I really do think they have some secret sorrow even if they are not tragic lovers. Even Dr. Reese says that their names sound like aliases -- Robinson and Smith. Pop says they are in the Witness Protection Program, but he laughs when he says it, so I don't think he really believes it.

Pop thinks Miranda is maybe 60. Stephen is probably 35 or something, but Pop says he looks "like he's been rode hard and put away wet." (That's a saying from Granddaddy's childhood, he lives in Tennessee, and we go there to visit him every summer.) I think I said before that Stephen is really pale and has black hair that always falls into his eyes and a hawky nose. He is a very thin man and has very long, thin fingers like you think he would play the piano, but I don't think he does. He looks tired sometimes, there are dark circles under his eyes.

He is not what you would call handsome, but Pop says he is "sensually compelling." That means Pop thinks he's sexy. Dad just roles his eyes at stuff like that, he knows Pop never means anything by it.

"Do you think Stephen is gay?" I asked Pop. Because it is usually gay men that Pop thinks are sexy. But I think Stephen is in love with Miranda, even if it is not tragic love. And that means they are probably married, because they are both old, and usually if people are in love and old, they are married (except people like Pop and Dad, because they are not allowed). But sometimes you can be gay and be married to a straight person. It's complicated.

But Pop said no, he didn't think Stephen was gay, and Dad said Stephen didn't "read gay" to him, either. But Dad doesn't think he is in love with Miranda.

Pop was like, "Why not, Jimmy? Just because she's older than he is? You're not being age-ist are you?" (I'm not sure if that's how it is spelled, but it means being prejudice against people because they are older.)

Dad said, "It's not that. Well, at least I don't think it is. I don't know. They just seem so reserved."

Pop said, "Well, of course they do, they're British. But I think Adela's right, there's something there between them. I can sense it."

"I can't," Dad said.

"So who do you think she is then? His mother?" Pop asked.

"I have no idea," said Dad. "And it's really none of our business."

Pop laughed and said, "Killjoy. Well, if there's a story there, Della will find it, won't you, sweetie? You can be Nancy Drew and Rosa can be Brenda Starr, Girl Reporter." (Nancy Drew is a girl detective in books and Brenda Starr is an old-fashion comic strip. Pop knows a lot about that sort of thing because of doing popular culture in Media Studies.)

I do not believe that Miranda is Stephen's mother. He wouldn't call her Miranda if she was, would he? And she does not act like his mother.

Here is what I think: I think they are in love with each other. She is older than him, but they are both pretty old, so I don't think that matters. They have different names, but so do a lot of the married people from the university. It is true that when I am with them, they don't touch each other or hold hands or anything like some people do who are in love. My dads do. But Dr. Reese says not every couple does that when other people are around, or children. So that doesn't mean anything.

Pop is right, there is something between Stephen and Miranda. Something about the way they look at each other. Stephen gets this expression on his face. Sort of a smile, but not exactly. I don't know what to call it -- it's just his Miranda expression. Something just for her. And even though he is sarcastic to her like he is to everyone, his voice is different with her -- softer or something. Like he's smiling behind it.

(I read this part to Dr. Reese, and she said that last one is a good descriptive line.)

She says she does not know what is true about Stephen and Miranda's "relationship," but she agrees with me that they could be in love. Dr. Reese doesn't talk too much about them, she says she doesn't want to gossip about her neighbors, but she is interested, I can tell. She's a writer like me, so she observes alot of the life around her, and I just know she finds Miranda and Stephen as interesting as I do.

She even invited Miranda to join her women's group, and Miranda said maybe in the autumn she would. (Scottish people don't say "fall.") I wish Dr. Reese would decide what she thinks about them being in love, because so far she has been right in some of the other things she has guessed about them.

Like right after school started last fall, she said she would bet money that Miranda used to be a teacher.

"I know the look," she said. "And I saw how she talked to you at the Labor Day community picnic, how clearly she explained things, and how even those rowdy Bierman kids were on their best behavior with her. I honestly thought that youngest Bierman girl was going to raise her hand before she spoke."

Pop had invited Miranda and Stephen to the picnic personally, he told them it was a good chance to get to know people in the neighborhood. Miranda came, but Stephen didn't. I asked him later why not, and he said, "Because sometimes the universe takes pity on even such as I."

And it turns out that Miranda _was_ a teacher once. I asked her. One day last winter she was walking home from the store and I was coming home from Rosa's, so I walked with her. (She and Stephen don't have a car, which is a little strange, but when I asked her about it, she said they like to walk. I guess if they need to go far, they probably take a bus.)

Anyway, I knew it was her even from down the street, because she has what Dr. Reese says is "an upright carriage," which means that her back is very straight and she never slumps or leans. And I recognized her plaid coat and long skirt. I've never seen her wear pants. She wore long black skirts in the winter and now in the summer, she wears long flowy dresses.

Other things to describe her: Even though she is old, over 50, her hair is still dark and Pop says you can tell it's her natural color because there are a few silver streaks in it that would be covered up if she dyed it. She usually wears it in a bun, but sometimes in the summer, she lets it down in a braid. Probably if she was really your teacher, she'd be scary, but she's usually not when you just talk to her. She has glasses.

Tomorrow I will write down what she said on our walk, but I can't write any more now, my hand is killing me.


	2. Chapter 2

**July 7, 2000**

I didn't actually get to write anything yesterday because Rosa's cousins are visiting and her mom took us all to the city pool. It was really crowded but fun, and when I got home I was too tired to write.

This is my observation of my conversation with Miranda that I had last winter.

Me: "Hi, Miranda."

Miranda: "Miss Edwards." (She always calls me that. I asked Dad if I was supposed to call her Miss Robinson, but he said she would probably tell me if she wanted me to.)

Me: "Have you been to the shops?" (That's what British people call going shopping. I like to say it. I say all sorts of English stuff that I learned from Stephen and Miranda. I used to try to make my Rs sound all roll-y like Miranda's too, but after Pop and Rosa both started laughing, I stopped. )

Miranda: "I have."

Me: "Can I ask you a question?"

Miranda: "I believe you already have. But yes, you may." (When I write her words down, they sound a little irritated, but she wasn't. She and Stephen both talk like that. "A dry, sly wit," Pop calls it. I think it's a British thing. The "you may" part was to correct my grammer.)

Me: "Did you use to be a teacher?"

Miranda: "Why do you ask?"

Me: "Just wondering. Because you seem like one."

Miranda: "Do I? Well, yes, I was. But I am retired now."

Me: "Do you miss it?"

Miranda: "Sometimes, a great deal."

Her voice sounded a little sad when she said this, which made me feel sad, too, even though I think it would be fun to be retired and just be like on summer vacation all the time. (Dad's Uncle Ross says it is boring, though.) Then I asked Miranda what did she teach and she said "I suppose you'd call it a type of science."

I know I should be more interested in science, but I'm not. I hope it wasn't rude not to ask her more about it, but I didn't. Instead I asked her was it boring being retired, and she said not at all. She said she has "much to occupy her time" like doing research in her field and writing about it.

Pop does research in his field, and he loves it. But his field is fun -- he watches alot of old movies and TV shows and lets me watch with him. I hate to say it, but Miranda's research sounds kind of dull. It's experiments and historical stuff in old books.

I think Stephen must do research too, even if he doesn't have a computer. He certainly reads alot, him and Miranda both do, in fact. You can see them sometimes through their living room window at night, sitting in armchairs and reading. They don't even have a TV. But they always have a fire in their fireplace, well, not in summer, of course.

Me: "What do you like to read?"

Miranda: "Lately I read about your culture. I have a great deal to learn."

I think she meant American history and things like that. I was going to ask more but by then we were at her house, and she said, "Good afternoon, Miss Edwards," and went inside, and that was that.

When I think back about it now, I'm mad at myself for asking such stupid questions instead of just asking straight out was she married to Stephen.

At dinner I told Dad and Pop the things Miranda said, and Pop said the British school system must pay her a really good pension if it can support both her and Stephen. Either that, or old Mrs. Prince really left them a lot of money. Because Stephen doesn't have a job, and he is not old enough to be retired.

He spends alot of his time in his garden, even in the winter. He grows lots of herbs and plants, but not any vegetables or anything, which I thought was weird until I asked him and he said he uses his plants for scientific experiments, not for eating.

I had a conversation with him about it once. He was in the garden and Miranda was reading in a chair near him, so I went over to talk to them.

Miranda's book was really old and had strange symbols in it, like another language. She said it wouldn't interest me, so I said I would talk to Stephen instead. And Miranda said, "Yes, do; I'm sure he will enjoy it."

Stephen looked over at her when she said that, and she smiled at him, which was definitely an in-love kind of thing to do. But I have to say he didn't smile back, in fact he kind of scowled at her. But she didn't mind. She even laughed a little.

I was like, "Stephen, where are your vegetables?" and that's when he told me about the scientific experiments.

Me: "What kind of scientific experiments?"

Stephen: "Ones involving science."

Me: "Is your science the same as Miranda's kind of science?"

Stephen: "Most assuredly not. Mine is both a subtle science and an exact art. Miranda's, on the other hand, is imprecise, little more than legerdemain. . ." (I had to get Pop to spell that for me, it means "slight of hand.")

Miranda cleared her throat, but Stephen just went on ---- "a mere kimera" (forgot to ask how to spell that. Stephen and Miranda both use alot of words I don't know, I think that's another British thing).

Me: "Is Miranda's science an art, too?"

Stephen: "No." (Then he looked at Miranda and kind of smirked.) "Well, perhaps. Of a lesser sort."

Miranda: "Trying to bewitch Miss Edwards' mind, are you, Stephen? Ensnare her senses?"

Stephen laughed that weird way he does -- he just makes a sort of snerky sound. And I'm not really sure what Miranda meant, but it was something funny. She's usually the only one who makes Stephen laugh.

They were quiet for a minute and then I said, "Where do you do your experiments?"

Stephen: "In my cellar, which has the benefit of being a place into which people cannot wander uninvited."

Me: "Could I help you do them?" (Because sometimes he lets me dig holes for him or water things.)

Stephen: "If I ever decide that I would like my home blasted off its foundations, I will ask a 12-year-old to assist me in my experiments. Until then, no."

But he showed me some of the weeds he was digging, and I did help him pull those up, and Miranda sat there and read, and then we said goodbye and I went home.

Stephen also has a little greenhouse that is just big enough for two people to go in, and sometimes he'll tell you what some of the things are if you ask.

Next time I will write about the day Rosa got into trouble about the greenhouse. I could write it now, but it's almost time for dinner.

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**July 21, 2000**

I have been busy and haven't been writing, but I am back now.

Here is the story of Rosa and the greenhouse.

One time, Stephen got really mad at us when Rosa went into the greenhouse without asking him. I told her about this interesting little dirt place inside the greenhouse with weird spiky things growing, and Rosa wanted to see them, so she went in.

Stephen came flying in after her and literally yanked her out by the arm. You could tell by his face that he was really, really angry, he was glaring and he kind of clenched his teeth together, and he said, "Miss Velez, if you ever, and I mean _ever_, enter that greenhouse again without my permission and my presence, you will never set further foot upon my property. If you so much as touch the door without asking, I assure you, I will know, and you will be sorry."

His voice was really quiet and scary, alot scarier than yelling. It was scarier than the time I heard Miranda shout at the Bierman boys for chasing a little gray and black cat. The cat ran in her bushes and then she just came out of nowhere and yelled at the Biermans. She'd been mad that time, but Stephen -- he was really furious. Rosa started crying and Miranda had to come out.

She put her hand on Stephen's arm (she touched him!) and he calmed down, and then she took Rosa and me into the kitchen and gave us ginger cookies and said Stephen just wanted to make sure we didn't get hurt, we had to be careful because some of his plants were poisonous and that's why he usually kept the greenhouse locked (although I have looked at it many times, and I have never seen a lock). She also said that many of the things he grew were rare and could easily be disturbed by temperature changes and stuff.

Rosa was afraid of Stephen for a while after that, but she got over it. She got over it so much that in the spring, when we still didn't know if they were married or what their "relationship" was, Rosa decided to be Brenda Starr, Girl Reporter, and just ask.

Here is what happened.

Around Easter time, we saw Stephen digging in one of the beds of strange plants, so we went over to his backyard through the gate in the back of the fence. I am pretty sure he saw us come in, but maybe I was wrong, because he didn't seem to hear us at first.

Here is my observation of our conversation with Stephen.

Me: "Hi, Stephen."

Stephen: ------ (that means he didn't say anything)

Me: "What are you doing?"

Stephen: ------

Me: "STEPHEN! What are you doing?"

Stephen: "As a rule, if someone doesn't respond to your interrogations, it means that they are too busy to speak to you."

Rosa: "You're speaking to us now."

Stephen: "Unfortunately."

Me: "Do you really want us to go? We will if you do. Dad says not to bother you too much."

Stephen: "Not too much? That is very kind of your 'dad,' I'm sure." (He put those quotes around the word "dad" with his voice, honestly, you could hear them.) Then he sighed and said, "You may stay -- for a time -- if you agree to keep the conversation to a minimum."

Me & Rosa: "We agree." (We were totally quiet for a while, and then he told us what a couple of the plants were and what he was doing to them.)

Then Rosa was like, "Stephen. Is Miranda your mother?"

Stephen put down his gardening thingy and sat back on his heels and just looked at us. Rosa started getting really nervous. Stephen let his eyes go all narrow and slitty (I'm not doing the "tyranny of the iris" here, I'm just saying how he looked) and he said, real quiet,

Stephen: "No, Miranda is not my mother. Miranda is my minder. I have recently been released from a hospital for the criminally insane, and Miranda is here to oversee my reintegration into normal society. But I assure you, she chains me to the wall at night, so you can all sleep safely."

I thought he was probably joking, but Rosa's eyes were huge (not the iris thing, just a description) and she whispered, "What was your criminally insane crime?"

But he said we were better off not knowing and went into his house.

We told Pop and Dad all about it, and Pop laughed and laughed. They both said it was obviously a joke, but Dad said it was just as obvious that we _were_ bothering Stephen and that we should leave him alone for a while. Rosa didn't mind; she said she doesn't think she wants to visit Stephen and Miranda any more anyway.

When I was clearing the table after dinner that night, I heard Pop out in the kitchen say to Dad that he didn't know about the chains on the wall, but he had no trouble picturing Miranda trussing Stephen up. (I'm sure that has something to do with sex, because Pop thinks they are in love just like I do.) Dad still doesn't, though, and he just laughed and snapped the dishtowel at Pop.

But I still don't know what Stephen and Miranda's "relationship" is. I'm 100% sure that Miranda is not Stephen's minder and 99% sure she is not his mother. I will just have to observe some more. Maybe I will see if Miranda will let me go to the shops with her and if she and Stephen kiss each other goodbye when she leaves. Pop and Dad always kiss each other goodbye when they go somewhere.

Next week we are going on our trip to visit Granddaddy. Miranda and Stephen are going to look after Benny (he is our cat).

---///---

**August 23, 2000**

The following stuff is very serious. Very serious. I mean it, THIS IS NO JOKE.

It is about Stephen and Miranda. They have always been a mystery, but today I saw something that makes me think they are aliens. Or spies. I am writing this down in case anything happens to me, because right now I am home alone and Dr. Reese is out of town and Rosa and her family are who knows where, because no one answered when I called. So I am here all alone. Something could happen to me, the aliens could get me, or anything. I hope you find this if I disappear.

Here is what happened.

I was in my room this afternoon and I have the window open because I don't like air conditioning, it makes my head stuffy. From my window, I can see over the fence into Stephen and Miranda's yard. But I wasn't looking in their yard at all, I haven't even seen them for two days. I was just laying on my bed reading when I heard Stephen yell from next door:

"Fuck me with the giant squid!"

(I am not using the F-word myself, I am just reporting what I observed. That is what Stephen yelled, and I have to write down everything just the way it happened for the sake of history, because I think they really are spies or aliens, and people have a right to know the truth.)

So of course when I heard him, I went and looked out the window. And there was Stephen half-in and half-out of the greenhouse, and he was pulling at these green vines that were crawling all over him.

He was saying, "fuck it, fuck it," and then he shouted, "MIRANDA!!! COME OUT HERE!"

She came down the back steps and when she saw him all covered in vines and tearing at them and saying "fuck it" and "MIRANDA!" she burst out laughing.

Stephen got madder and yelled, "Damn it, Minerva, don't just stand there howling like bumble door at his dottiest. Take care of this!"

(It really did sound like he said "Minerva" and not "Miranda," but I could be wrong. But I am not wrong about the rest of it or about what happened next. I don't know what "bumble door" is, but that's what he said.)

By this time the vines were getting to his head, and it looked kind of scary. Miranda stopped laughing and took a long brown stick out of her pocket and waved it, and flames shot out of the end. Real flames. As in fire.

She brought the stick close to Stephen and I thought she was going to set him on fire, but as soon as she got near him, the vines started backing off and twisting away and slithering back into the greenhouse, and they looked almost like snakes, they really did.

As soon as they were off his body, Stephen took the stick of flames from Miranda's hand and followed the vines into the greenhouse. Miranda stood at the door and looked in, and eventually Stephen came out and gave her the stick back. There were no more flames coming out of it.

Then he pointed his finger at her and scowled and said, "Not a word. Not so much as a smile."

Miranda acted real innocent and turned her hands up like she was saying, "who, me?" But when he turned away, I could see that she was having a hard time not laughing.

Then -- and I am not kidding, this is NOT A JOKE -- she waved the stick again and said (I am not sure about the exact words) "Ask O whiskey" and _a bottle of whiskey came floating out of the house straight into her hand_!

Then she waved the stick again and two glasses appeared OUT OF THIN AIR.

Stephen said, "It's three o'clock in the afternoon."

Miranda said, "No matter. The sun is over the yardarm somewhere in the world, and if you're going to let devil's snare get the better of you and then shout 'fuck it' loudly enough to bring half the neighborhood running, I think you need a drink."

Stephen scowled even more. "I don't see a single denizen of the neighborhood, not even the ubiquitous child from next door."

I ducked back behind the curtain when he said this. When I looked out again, there were two lawn chairs next to the tree WHERE THERE HAD BEEN NO CHAIRS JUST THREE SECONDS BEFORE, and Stephen said, "If we're going to start getting pissed this early, we might as well be comfortable." (I think "get pissed" means "get drunk" in British.)

Now here is another important and weird thing: usually Stephen wears a long-sleeved shirt with a high collar no matter how hot it is. But it is really hot outside today, and Stephen was wearing a black T shirt with short sleeves and just a regular neck, which I didn't notice before because he was covered in vines.

And -- _there are huge, ugly, thick scars all over the side of his neck and the top of his shoulder._

I think they are alien markings. Either that or he has a simbiant (sp?) inside of him. Either way, there is something really strange going on.

But now while I was watching, Stephen and Miranda were just acting normal. They sat down and clinked their glasses together, and Stephen gave Miranda this huge smile (which I have hardly ever seen him do before, his usual smiles are just little smirks, and now I am sure he is an extratrestrial because when Mr. Spock from Star Trek smiles like that, it means he had been taken over by alien spores or something. My pop has a lot of Star Trek videos that we watch, in case you are the FBI reading this and wonder how I know.)

So Stephen smiled at Miranda and said "thank you" and she smiled back. (This does not necessarily mean they are in love, but it is another clue, but that is not as important now as them being aliens or spies.)

So I came over to my desk to write all this down -- and it is true facts, every word of it. I looked out the window just now, and they have gone into the house, but the chairs are still there.


	3. Chapter 3

**August 25, 2000**

Alot has happened since I wrote about Miranda and Stephen being spies and aliens. As soon as Dad and Pop got home, I told them all about it. Pop thought it was funny at first, said I was turning into "a regular Gladys Kravitz." (That's from an old TV show called _Bewitched_, where this witch lived in a normal neighborhood, and no one knew she was a witch except her husband, but this lady Gladys from across the street kept seeing all the odd magic things, but no one would believe her, they just thought she was crazy. Of course I don't think Stephen and Miranda are witches.)

But when Pop and Dad saw how serious I was, they got serious, too. Pop was like, "Well, we shouldn't forget that Gladys Kravitz was right, after all."

Dad's idea was that we should invite Stephen and Miranda over and just explain what I saw and see what they had to say. "Miranda strikes me as a sensible woman," he said, "and Stephen may be an odd fish, but he seems reasonable enough when I talk with him."

I was a little nervous about this, in case they were something dangerous, but Dad and Pop explained that they really didn't think Stephen and Miranda were aliens. Dad said, "And while it's not impossible that they are spies, we should at least see if there's an alternative explanation that seems more likely. We can always call the authorities later if we need to." (If you think he was making fun of me, he wasn't. Dad never does that.)

So we invited them to come over for drinks the next night after dinner. Dad went next door to ask them and to explain what was wrong and to say how important it was to me. And they both came, Stephen, too. He wore a white shirt with the collar open. And you could see his scars. He does have them, and they are pretty bad, but they do just look like scars and not really like alien markings or a simbiant, which is a relief.

Dad got everyone a glass of wine and me a Sprite and we sat in the living room. Stephen and Miranda sat next to each other on the couch, but not touching. I told them what I had heard and seen, and they didn't seem mad or dangerous at all, they just listened.

When I was done, Miranda said, "Yes, I can certainly understand why you are worried, Adela." (I think this was the first time she didn't call me Miss Edwards, it was more like she was talking to me as a friend.) Then she smiled, and she doesn't look stern at all when she does that. "I almost wish I could tell you that we _are_ aliens or spies, because I fear that once you know the truth about us, you'll find us rather boring."

This is what she told us.

She said, "I suppose you could say that Stephen and I have come to your country as refugees. We were unlucky enough to be caught in a war zone, and even though the side we supported eventually triumphed, we felt we had lost too much to be able to stay on. As you see, Stephen was badly injured in the fighting and had to undergo a long and painful recovery. He had just got back on his feet when we learned of the legacy from his great-aunt, and, well, the time seemed right to make a change."

"How did you end up in a war zone?" asked Dad.

Stephen said, "We were there as teachers. Civilians, in theory -- not soldiers. But war doesn't respect such distinctions, and we didn't have the luxury of staying out of the line of fire."

Miranda continued, "We both did what we could to protect our students and help in the fighting, but it was a dark and difficult time, and when the war was over, we found that a great deal had changed. So when Stephen chose to leave and start afresh in a new place, I decided to come with him."

"We'd grown used to one another," Stephen said and gave her a kind of half-smile.

I thought it was probably now or never, so I said, "Are you married?" Dad shook his head at me, but I figured it was my only chance to find out.

But Stephen said, "No."

So they aren't married, I am sorry to say. But I still think they are in love, you should have seen how they looked at each other. It was Stephen's Miranda expression and then some.

Dad said, "Well, the war sounds very difficult, but I'm glad you've recovered, Stephen."

I guess the war story does make sense, but that was only part of it. "But what about the vines and the giant squid and the fire stick and the floating whiskey bottle?" I asked.

Miranda looked puzzled and said, "The giant squid?"

"When the vines were attacking Stephen, he said, 'fuck me with the giant squid' and then Miranda made fire come out of a stick. . ."

Stephen made a sort of choking sound, and Miranda raised her eyebrows at him. "I apologize for my language," he said, "but I didn't realize you were close by. It's just an expression. I was annoyed because of the vines."

He turned to Dad and Pop and said, "I work with rare plants and their possible medical applications in salves and the like, and these vines are a particularly fast-growing species that is best controlled by burning."

"They sound rather dangerous," Dad said.

But Stephen said no, what happened yesterday was just a fluke. "In any case, the greenhouse is locked and alarmed," he told Dad. And he gave me a little look. (Which was totally not fair, because it was Rosa who went in there without asking, not me.)

"What about the fire stick?" I asked.

"That was just one of those small. . .I'm not sure what you call them here. Barbeque lighter? Miniature blowtorch?" Miranda said.

"A mini-torch, probably," Pop said.

Miranda nodded. "As for the whiskey bottle, well, I'm afraid that's one of Stephen's hobbies." She looked at him over her spectacles, and he explained.

"I like to tinker with labor-saving devices, and I've been experimenting with ways to send things from the house to the garden without my having to go inside or drag Miranda outside. What you witnessed was my new fishing-line pulley. Very thin line; I daresay you couldn't see it from where you were standing."

"But you made glasses appear out of thin air!" I said to Miranda. She really did, I saw her.

She and Stephen looked at each other, and he gave her the same kind of smug smirk that Rosa gives her brothers when she gets the better of them somehow. "Go ahead, Miranda," Stephen said. "Explain _that_ one to the child."

Miranda looked a little embarrassed. "It's silly, I know," she said. "But I enjoy magic tricks. I had an uncle who was a magician -- on the stage, that is -- and he taught me some of his secrets."

Then she said, "Miss Edwards? If I may?" and reached toward my hair. When she pulled her hand back, there was a gold bracelet in it. "For you," she said and gave it to me. "With our apologies for frightening you. I had the whiskey glasses with me when I came outside yesterday; I was planning to show Stephen the fruits of my practice sessions."

Pop leaned back in his chair and applauded. "That's excellent, Miranda," he said. "Maybe some day you can run a sword through me in a box or something."

"Or something," Miranda said, and Stephen laughed.

"There's just one other thing," I said. Everything seemed to have a logical explanation, just like Dad said it would, and I'm glad they aren't spies or aliens. But there were the lawn chairs that just appeared like out of nowhere, so I asked about them.

Miranda shook her head. "I don't know how to explain that," she said. "The chairs were folded next to the tree, and Stephen opened them while I poured the drinks. No magic tricks there."

"You must have looked away for longer than you thought, Della," Dad said. "Time can be a slippery thing."

That makes sense, I guess. But it really did seem like just a couple of seconds.

Pop gave everyone another drink, and Miranda and Stephen stayed a while longer and talked about how they liked the neighborhood and about Stephen's garden and Miranda's research, and Pop and Dad talked a little about the university and their jobs and how they could introduce Stephen to some of the chemistry faculty and Miranda to the rare book librarians. Finally they got up to go, and I said thank you for the bracelet, and Pop showed them to the door, and everything is fine now.

---///---

**September 5, 2000**

Tomorrow is the first day of school. Rosa is in my class, yay! (last year she wasn't). I might not have much time to write when school starts, so I just wanted to say that it has been a great summer. I learned alot about writing, and I got to go to the beach with Rosa and her family, and I am still friends with Stephen and Miranda, and they are not aliens.

---///---

**September 30, 2000**

I HAVE FOUND OUT THE TRUTH ABOUT STEPHEN AND MIRANDA!!!! About whether they are in love with each other!!!

But there is also something very sad. I will try to tell it like a story.

Yesterday was my birthday. Pop and Dad took Rosa and me and Dr. Reese and Sara from my art class to dinner at the Olive Garden. We asked S & M, but they had other plans, and I am so glad they did because otherwise I would not have found out the truth.

I do not visit them as much since school started, but they haven't changed. I have not seen anything strange over there since that time last summer. Sometimes Pop says, "what's the latest on the magic next door, Gladys?" but of course there isn't any.

It was a fun birthday. Dr. Reese gave me a new journal because I have almost filled up this old one. Pop and Dad said we will take a trip over Christmas. And when we were pulling in our driveway after dinner, we saw an owl flying. We don't see owls very often, so that was cool.

We had ice cream and cake when we got home, yellow with pink frosting, because I am weird and don't like chocolate. After everyone left, we saw that Stephen and Miranda were home from wherever they went, because the light was on in their kitchen. Pop said I could take some cake over to them. I went to their back porch and was going to knock on the door when I heard somebody crying.

It was Miranda! I looked through the screen door, and she was sitting at the table. She was already in her plaid robe ready for bed, her hair was in a braid down her back, and Stephen was wearing a bathrobe too, a black one, I think it was silk. Just about everything he wears is black, except he wears white shirts sometimes.

There was some mail or something on the table, and Stephen was standing there reading a letter. Miranda was holding a handkerchief, and her eyes were red and she said, "I knew it was bad news as soon as I saw the owl. But I never thought. . .she wasn't even old! It's such a waste. I didn't think we'd never see her again."

Stephen said, "I know," and he put the letter down and started to rub her shoulders. "At least Flickick (?) says it was quick. And you know she'd have wanted it to happen this way -- something natural."

"I suppose," Miranda said, but she didn't sound convinced. "It's just. . .I don't know, so ironic, that she should survive the war and then drop over dead now, when she thought she was safe."

Stephen said, "There's a great deal left of her. Her greenhouses. And our garden, too. All my cuttings came from her."

He must have thought this would make Miranda feel better, but it didn't. She said, "Oh, Sevris, sometimes it seems we've lost absolutely everything that mattered," and she put her head down on her arms and just sobbed.

It was awful. I hate it when grownups cry. I hate it. Pop did when Grandma Jevic died. It's worse than when kids cry. Dr. Reese says that's probably because when kids cry, sometimes you can fix the problem. But when adults do, you usually can't.

Miranda was so unhappy, I never saw her like this before, not even the time I thought she was a tragic lover. It was just awful. And Stephen looked awful too, his face was all twisted and he was biting his lip.

Then after a minute he turned back to Miranda and started to unbraid her hair, real gently, and when it was all undone, he stroked his fingers through it and made little sssshhhh sounds. I don't think he was trying to make her be quiet, he was just being soothing. My dad does that.

I know I should have left, but I didn't want to make a noise and have them hear me, and anyway, I wanted to see what would happen, if they would feel better. It didn't seem right to go away when they were both so upset. So I stayed.

Eventually Miranda wasn't crying so much. Stephen went to the sink and got her a wet towel and waited while she wiped her eyes and then he said, "We haven't lost _everything_, you know. Some things haven't changed." And he bent down and tilted her chin toward him and **he kissed her**!!!

They _are_ in love with each other, I was right!

Miranda stood up and kind of whispered, "Sevris" (I think that is a pet name) and she put her arms around his neck. He put his arms around her and hugged her, and they just stood there for a minute pressed tight together. Then he started to kiss her face all over, just soft little kisses, with his hands in her hair.

And then all of a sudden they were _really_ kissing. I mean really. The people-in-love kind of kissing. I know what that is, I've seen it in movies. It's when people open their mouths and it is not soft any more. That's the way Stephen and Miranda were kissing.

Then Stephen slid his hands all the way down Miranda's back until he was holding her bottom, and she slid _her_ hands under his robe. It opened up a little, and I do not think he was wearing anything underneath.

That's when I knew I better get out of there fast, because I think they were going to have sex, and I didn't want to see it.

First of all, sex is a private thing. Dad told me that when I asked about him and Pop. And second of all, I saw a man and a woman have sex in a movie once. Pop didn't know that scene was in the movie when he took me to see it, and afterward, he said did it bother me, and I said no, because it didn't. Pop and Dad just treat sex like any other thing to explain, and so I know about it and it's no big deal.

But it is quite ugly to look at. I said so to Pop after the movie, and he laughed and said when people are involved in it, they never think about how it looks.

Miranda and Stephen were still just kissing when I went home, but their hands were all over each other, and his robe had slipped off some more.

He has more muscles than you would think for such a skinny man.

I told Dad and Pop all about everything -- how Miranda saw the owl, too, and that meant somebody died (I didn't know that, it must be like when your nose itches, it means you will have company. So it's a good thing you don't see owls too often). I told how it was Miranda and Stephen's friend that died and how Miranda cried and Stephen's face was all screwed up.

And I told a little bit about the kissing. Dad got all serious and said I should not have stayed peeking in the door like that, it is an invasion of privacy. But he did admit that I was right about Stephen and Miranda being in love, and today he let me take the cake to them again.

Today is Saturday, so I went over as soon it wasn't too early.

Stephen was in the kitchen making tea. He said thank you for the cake and would I like some tea. This is the first time he ever offered me anything, and he wasn't being sarcastic at all. But I had to say no thank you because I don't like tea. Then he said "Orange juice?" and I said, "yes please!" and he poured me some.

He picked up the tea cups and called out, "Miranda, the child is here" and went into the living room. I took my juice and followed him, and she was sitting in one of the chairs and there was a fire in the fireplace even though it wasn't cold.

He gave her a cup of tea and told her I'd brought cake. She said Happy Birthday, they had a present for me! And it was a little plant in a pot. It is dittany, which is an herb, and Stephen is going to show me how to take care of it. And he said maybe next spring he will help me put in my own herb garden in my yard!! Because let's face it, Pop is never going to get around to making a garden.

I wanted to say that I was sorry about their friend, but I'm not supposed to know about it. They still seemed a little quiet and sad, but mostly they just looked like normal. Miranda had her hair up, and Stephen had a black shirt on. If they had sex last night, you couldn't tell.

But while I was looking at the dittany, I could see out of the corner of my eye that he touched her cheek and then he put his hand on her shoulder, and she reached up and held it. His hand, I mean, not her own shoulder. And they kept on holding hands even when I put the plant down and went over to them.

They are in love for sure. I knew I was right all along. But I am glad they are not tragic.

In the future I will try to respect people's privacy, but I am not going to stop observing and recording Miranda and Stephen. They are way too interesting.

I think someday I will be able to make a really good story out of this.

~~Fin

(**A/N**: but perhaps not for good ... I think I feel a Christmas sequel coming on. Stay tuned.)


	4. Chapter 4

When I posted "My Journal About My Life and Stephen and Miranda" in early 2010, I (sort of) promised a Christmas sequel. Well, I didn't manage to make Christmas as a deadline, but I _have_ gotten around to writing the sequel.

It's posted on FFN with the title "'Now That I'm Older' by Adela." If you're interested, you can find a link to the story on my profile page.

I hope you'll enjoy reading about Adela as much as I enjoyed writing about her.

~~Kelly


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